Life Lessons from Frogger

George Costanza with Frogger Machine

[Author’s note: On the Mike and the Ninja Website, I used to write a feature called “Brian Plays Old (Sometimes Bad) Games,” a chronicle of my never-ending backlog of unfinished video games. I recently unearthed some entries in the series that have gone unpublished! I’m in the middle of a string of busy weeks, and it’s looking like I won’t have much time to write, so I am bringing one of these unused entries to you now. Enjoy, and thank you for reading!]

Thanks to the Atari 2600, I learned at a very early age that Frogger is synonymous with repetitive torture and misery. Trying to get those poor frogs across both a busy street and a snake-ridden, alligator-infested river was a lesson in futility. Sure, I might get two, or even three frogs home, but their buddies wouldn’t be so fortunate. Ten to fifteen seconds later, my remaining frogs lay as smashed, twitching skids on the highway, or shriveling in watery graves. (Or in the belly of a snake or alligator, but usually the water was more than enough.) How my older sister Amy had gotten so good at this game was beyond my 4-year-old comprehension, but to the casual observer, a vast discrepancy in our bedtimes and motor skills was obviously at play.

Go on….