Hey. It’s time to put this blog on ice for a while. I’m starting to realize how much the internet has gravely impacted how and why I do what I do, how much pressure there is to meet perceived expectations, at a pace that is not maintainable. I’m always trying to keep up with somebody or some fabricated benchmark, rather than doing what I want to do.
My online presence is so much of a sham. A work, a calculated version of myself that I’ve grown to hate. It’s all geared in some way toward promoting myself and my work, when the truth is that there is precious little of that work to actually promote. It’s time and energy spent doing the wrong things. I went on and on about this last year, and again at the beginning of this year, so I won’t dive in again. In short, I’ve spent a lot of time doing things for the wrong reasons because I thought they were the right things to do, or the things that people would like, rather than enjoying my life and working on the stuff I really want to do.
I thought I had this all figured out a year ago. But now, here we are a year later, and I still feel beholden to many of those same pressures. This blog is one of them. Maybe it will be back one day, but for now, it feels like something I have to do, not something I want to do.
I will still be writing, drawing, and so forth. I’m still planning to launch a video game blog (a project I actually have some degree of passion for) this year. Other than that, I’ll be diving into my hobbies, and I probably won’t be blathering on about them on the internet for quite some time, not until I have something worth blabbering about.
If you feel overwhelmed, and you find yourself questioning why you’re doing the things you allegedly like to do, stop for a moment and re-evaluate. Remember to be you. Remember to be the thing you want to be, and do the things you want to do. Most of all, remember to have fun.